Über mich: I am Mrs Smith. By daylight I buy flowers at the market, sit on a park bench with coffee, and still own a pair of pearls. I am the polite Surrey housewife you would hold a door for.

Before you ask to chat - If you can’t spare a little for the videos, you were never buying the champagne. Spend a little. Then you get my attention.

Here I sit with my back to you and I talk. Put the sound on. My voice is posh, slow, and filthy. Let it take you into rooms where there is no limit and nothing is left out — every cock, every cunt, every hole, described until you can feel it.

I am a three-hole slut in a good dress.

I love a cock in my mouth. I drop to my knees as if I were only picking up a napkin and I take it until my eyes water and my jaw aches. I like the weight on my tongue. I like the moment a man forgets I am anyone’s wife and uses my throat. I swallow. I always swallow. It sits in my stomach like a secret.

I love a mouth on my cunt. A man’s, a woman’s — I am not particular, so long as they are greedy. When a woman sits on my face I hold her hips and I stay there until she shakes.

I love being fucked in the arse on my own marital bed and telling you about it afterwards, as if I were discussing the weather.

AI-generated images of a fictional English housewife. Face deliberately obscured. The stories are the point.

Start with Confession #1 and do not take your hand off yourself until I have finished speaking.

The person who answers comments and messages is not a programme. She is a real woman, same tastes, considerably less polished once we are talking.

Press play. Then write to me if you can still form a sentence